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31 Dec December 31, 2016

Seeing the New Year After a Loss

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A new dawn with thoughts on the loss of a pet

As the New Year dawns it brings an expectation of new beginnings and rebirth – of letting go of the old and welcoming the possibilities for tomorrow. But if you have experienced a significant loss it is a time of mixed feelings where you may not want to let go of the old and where tomorrow may be viewed with uncertainty.

It does not have to be the loss of a person or the loss of a pet. There are many losses that rock our lives. The end of a marriage, the loss of a home or a job – they are all bereavements that have to be worked through.

Don’t feel you have to make an effort to change just because it is New Year. Grief takes time to work through. It is a process where the relationship we once had moves into one of memory and allows us to go on to new beginnings whilst retaining the good from the past. It can take time and effort but it is important to work through it as there can’t be satisfaction in a relationship that can never be fulfilled.

Occasions such as New Year or anniversaries can feel as if they set you back but they are all part of the grieving process and as time goes by will get easier. They are like strings you need to cut to release your relationship from the present. Don’t feel guilty about enjoying yourself either. These times show you how you will be, as in an old Strawbs song that goes “I have seen myself tomorrow ..  a little way further down the road”.

When you are working through grief every day is a New Year with a mixture of hope for the new and memories of the past. Always remember – things will get better. The words of Alfred Tennyson are particularly appropriate

“Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come
Whispering “it will be happier …”

We wish you peace and happiness for the future.